Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!

I love my Mama...

and will always be her favorite Cami. ;)

Keep praying.

Friday, April 20, 2012

I Am

a lesbian; it just took 25 years to admit it.
a disappointment. Sorry, Mama.
worth it. I need to remind myself of this daily.
a scorned lady; an honest woman who married a lying man.
practically a divorcee, and that makes me feel old. And a bit like a failure.
selfless with selfish tendencies.
an oxymoron.
tired of trying so hard to be who I'm supposed to be instead of accepting who I am.


Keep praying.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Ending of an Era, The Turning of a Page

It may be over, but I don't regret a moment I spent being his wife.  On to the next chapter...

Keep praying.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Part of Me

Beautiful and heart-breaking.  Divorce is like that.

Keep praying.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day SUCKS

Keep praying (and have a great day regardless!).

Friday, January 27, 2012

I Remember Her

She was eccentric.  She loved frogs.  She would drink Mountain Dew and stay up all night.  She was funny.  She laughed a lot.  She was easy to get along with and everyone wanted to be her friend.  She loved to sing and did it EVERYWHERE.  She went to church weekly, daily, hourly; she still wasn’t sure.  She could never choose among red, blue, and purple as a favorite color.  She hated pizza.  She loved a good salad bar.  She never said a curse word, not even damn.  She knew who she was, and she liked her.  She was pure.  She was innocent.  She was real. 

I miss her.


Keep praying.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Take Me or Leave Me

...I prefer the former.

Those of you in Savannah and surrounding areas should audition for RENT in March!

Keep praying!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Rest in Peace, Etta

Your golden pipes will be sorely missed.

Keep praying.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Playing House

What is this that we’re doing:
picking curtains for the living room;
cooking dinner together each night;
sleeping in the same bed, breathing the same air?

Are you a forever kind of mine?
Or is this just a game?
You hold my heart in your delicately strong hand,
and you act oblivious to that fact.

These plans I’m making with you
I want to be real.
This isn’t elementary school,
and we’re too old to be playing house.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Change is on the Horizon

I left my husband this weekend.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I have been unhappy for a very long time (by no fault of his own).  I'm changing.  I'm different.  And I'm not the woman he fell in love with.  I realize this.  I see we've drifted apart.  I understand that we no longer make each other happy.  So, I decided to take a break.  We're separating for a year, living in different places and leading different lives.

I have no clue who I am.  I went from my parents' house to college where I had a roommate(s) all four years, then I got married and he was my everything.  I have no clue what it's like to be alone, and I think that's a problem.  I need to find Cami.  I need to love her.  Then maybe I can love my husband.

Please keep praying.